Praise Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

And here is why:

Sometimes, when I realize that something really weird and terrible very likely exists, I do a test to see how fast I can find it with google. Just now I decided to see if I could find yaoi fanficiton featuring Jacob and the mysterious "man in black", both characters from the hit ABC series LOST.

Usually these impulse searches result in me finding, to my horror, exactly what I'm looking for. Often on the first try.

But because there's another character named "Jacob" who is already the subject of 20% of all fanfiction worldwide, and because the other search terms are so broad ("Lost" produces thousands of results unrelated to the show) I would have to sift through hundreds of pages of Twilight rubbish before I had a chance of finding the literary horror I was after.

So praise be to you, Stephanie Meyer, for creating an impenetrable wall of bullshit around my favorite television series. Your fandom is the twelve-foot-thick wall of concrete that keeps all our electromagnetic anomalies at bay.